what parents should say to their students about alcohol

Any parent who follows the news would rightfully be nervous about sending a child to college, knowing the situations their student might face. Tragically, students die from alcohol poisoning and alcohol-related accidents every year. As a result, more parents than ever before are thinking about what to say to their students regarding alcohol when packing them off to college. Here’s our advice:
First, parents should set clear and realistic expectations regarding their student’s academic performance. National studies show that students who drink a lot of alcohol get poor grades. A decline in grades may have as much to do with partying as with the difficulty of the academic work. Students who know that their parents expect sound academic work will be more devoted to their studies and have less time to get in trouble with alcohol.
Second, parents should encourage their students to get involved in community volunteer work. Such work provides opportunities to develop job-related skills and to gain valuable experience. Helping others also takes young people outside of themselves, giving them a healthier perspective on the opportunities they enjoy. In addition, it helps structure their free time.
Alternatively, students can get involved in volunteer work on campus. Such work has the additional benefits of helping students connect with the school, which can increase the likelihood of staying in college. Many campuses have offices to help students identify campus- and community-based volunteer opportunities.
Third, parents should encourage students to stand up for their rights to a safe academic environment that enhances their intellectual growth. Students who are not binge drinkers themselves report being adversely affected by the behavior of those who are. Such effects range from interrupted study time to physical assault and unwanted sexual advances. Students can confront these problems directly, but, should that fail, they should let the housing director or other residence hall staff know about such problems so that the appropriate action can be taken.
Fourth, parents should make it clear to students that underage consumption of alcohol and driving under the influence of alcohol are both against the law. As parents, they are concerned primarily for the safety of their students, but they also cannot condone breaking the law.
Fifth, parents should remind students that over-consumption of alcohol is toxic to the human body and can even lead to death from alcohol poisoning. With that in mind, it is irresponsible to encourage dangerous drinking through drinking games, illegal fraternity hazing, or in any other way. Parents should ask their student to have the courage to intervene when they see someone putting their life at risk through dangerous drinking.
Sixth, parents should make sure that their students are prepared to intervene when a classmate is in trouble with alcohol. Nothing is more tragic than an unconscious student being left to die when others fail to recognize that the life of the student is in jeopardy or fail to call for emergency help for fear of getting the student in trouble. No one wants to look back on a needless death and think “what if?”
Seventh, parents should inform themselves about the alcohol scene on campus and talk to their students about it. Students tend to grossly exaggerate the alcohol use of their peers. At the University of Oregon, for example, students believe that 96 percent of their peers drink alcohol at least once a week, when the actual rate is 52 percent. Research suggests that students, who are highly influenced by their peers, will “drink up” to what they believe is the norm. Confronting these misperceptions about alcohol and other drug use is key.
Eighth, parents should refrain from regaling their students with tales of their own alcohol-fueled exploits when in college. Doing so only serves to normalize what even back in “the good old days” was abnormal behavior, and also appears to give tacit parental approval for dangerous alcohol consumption.
Advice given to parents of younger children still applies. Parents of college students should openly and clearly express their concern about and disapproval of underage drinking and dangerous alcohol consumption. And they should present a positive role model through their own responsible use of alcohol, if they drink. Parents cannot actively monitor their students who attend college and no longer live at home, but it’s just as important to be available to talk and, most important, to listen.

—Linda Devine, Assistant Dean of Student Life, University of Oregon, and William DeJong, Director, Higher Education Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Prevention